Home page Psychology blog 12 Rules Of A Successful Person: How To Change Your Life For The Better

12 Rules Of A Successful Person: How To Change Your Life For The Better

18.06.2019 Author: Psychologist Pavel Khoroshutin

Success is a relative concept. And for everyone, it means something different. One seeks to become a top manager in a large company. Another one wants to travel without being tied to a particular place. And the third one will consider himself/herself successful if he/she builds a family. All of these people are united by one thing – the desire for a goal. But not everyone can achieve it. What prevents a person from becoming successful in some or other area? How to realize yourself in life? This article will talk about how to succeed in a career.


  1. Successful person: what is he/she?
  2. What prevents you from becoming successful?
  3. Habits of a successful person
  4. 12 rules of a successful person

Successful person: what is he/she?

Successful person

Success is the achievement of goals in a conceived business, a positive result from the activity performed, and public recognition. [1]

Many people think that the key to success is a lucky combination of life circumstances, influential relationships, an impressive amount of money in the deposit. Yes, all this can facilitate the path to achieving the goal. But neither money, nor communication guarantee that all dreams will come true. It is important how a person perceives the world around, how positively he/she thinks and which actions he/she takes to become successful and self-realized.

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Why do some people manage to achieve what they want, while others still stomp on the spot? A successful person is distinguished by certain personality traits. [2]

1. Purposefulness

When there is a goal, there will be ways to achieve it.

Setting goals seems to be nothing complicated. Nevertheless, many people fail even before this task, cannot identify exactly what they want and what they need for complete happiness. Successful individuals have no problems setting goals for the future, they set specific goals, for example: “I want to take the position of a top manager in order to earn 200 thousand rubles a month”. And it doesn’t matter whether a person builds short-term or long-term plans.

2. Craving for self-improvement

A person who wants to succeed in life never stands still. He/she improves personal skills, knowing for sure that in the future it will be useful in achieving his/her goals. Seminars, personal trainings, and training courses are not just ticks in the diary to “kill” extra time. A successful person is always in search of useful tools for work.

3. Self-confidence

To succeed, a person must be self-confident. This is the inner strength that gives a powerful impetus to achieve goals, self-improvement and positive changes in life. A successful person clearly knows what he/she is capable of, and is sure that he/she will remove mountains on the way to a dream, having stable motivation.

4. Calm

Many people begin to experience stress and literally panic when things go wrong. And this often happens in the frantic rhythm of modern life. A successful person knows how to control himself/herself, keeping his/her head cool even in the most difficult stressful situations. The ability to control your emotions helps you anticipate mistakes, clearly plan your actions, and, accordingly, achieve your goals.

5. Teamwork

Many of the most influential companies in the world were created as a result of teamwork. To be successful does not always mean to be completely independent. Loners also achieve heights, but they find it more difficult, because sooner or later they need to leave the comfort zone, communicate with other people – colleagues and business partners.

A successful person who wants to move up the career ladder knows how to work in a team. He/she accepts the ideas of other specialists and confidently expresses own position on a particular issue, being able to find a compromise, taking part in collective projects without fear of remaining in the shade.

6. Time management

A successful person is one who is in time everywhere. A successful person always keeps a daily schedule with important tasks for the day and plans for the future. Competent time management helps find a balance between business and leisure.

What prevents you from becoming successful?

What prevents you from becoming successful

“I am 30. Recently, depression has often been coming – it seems that I have not achieved in life what I really deserve. And it’s not that I’m a bummer. I get up early, work hard until 7 pm, go to the gym 4 times a week, and learn English in my free time. I never succeed for the first time. The problem is that to achieve goals you have to spend a lot of effort and literally go through an obstacle course. In my opinion, this has already killed my self-confidence.

Despite the fact that I drive quite confidently, I often get into minor accidents on the road. Really, if I start my business and invest money there (I had such plans), I will also “break up”. I do boxing for a couple of years, but I’m sure that in the first fight in the real ring I will definitely be knocked out. I learn English, but cannot really talk to foreigners. Important projects are constantly given to my colleagues. And if something is entrusted to me, then I get to correct my calculations for another week.

This state of affairs does not suit me. I want to become a rich and successful person. Yes, I can achieve my goal. But only after a long time. But someone succeeds at one stroke to solve all the problems”.

– Vasily, 30

Why are some people more difficult to succeed than others? From the point of view of psychology, there are the following reasons for this:

  • incorrect goal setting,
  • insufficient motivation,
  • laziness
  • frequent procrastination,
  • halfway stop,
  • unwillingness to leave the comfort zone,
  • problems in communicating with people. [3]

Success depends on the model of behavior and subconscious attitudes of a person. Often, the show is run not by self-confidence and determination, but deliberately erroneous judgments that prevent us from going to our dream.

1. “ Half my life has passed, but I haven’t achieved anything yet”

Many people live by stereotypes: if a person by a certain age has not achieved success, then it’s time to give up trying to achieve your goals. One worries that he/she still has not got married, and the other considers himself/herself a failure, because for a year in a row he/she cannot get a promotion.

Life is not a marathon. Everyone goes their own way. If you have not achieved what you so passionately desire, then the time has not come yet, the spiritual and practical qualities that are so necessary to achieve the goal have not been formed.

2. “I did not reach the goal because of …”

When trying to achieve what they want, many people tend to blame anyone and anything, but not themselves, for their failures. They consider themselves to be “chronic losers” because there is an economic crisis in the country, their parents did not give money, or the evil boss does not raise them. Such thoughts “clog” the consciousness, interfere with positive thinking and contribute to the development of envy towards others, and, accordingly, complicate the path to achieving the goal.

It is important to understand that even the most successful people do not always have the perfect atmosphere for self-development. There are obstacles on the way of every person. The only difference is whether one knows how to take responsibility into own hands and overcome them.

3. “Why act – I won’t succeed anyway”

Unsuccessful people prefer to think and fantasize, but not act. Perhaps they understand how important work on themselves is to achieve their goals, but prefer to stay within the comfort zone.

Unsuccessful people obviously lack a solid impulse to decisive action and self-confidence.

4. “With my character, I can’t achieve success”

“I am bad with numbers”, “I cannot study languages”, “I am not hard enough to start my own business” – all these phrases clearly characterize an unsuccessful person. He/she finds a lot of excuses instead of acting. And over time, he/she begins to believe that the “villain fate” really did not give him/her the character traits necessary to achieve success. But this is the road to nowhere.

It is important to forget that you have a limited set of skills and knowledge, and stop thinking that everybody around is smarter. To become a successful person in life, you must act, and then you can cope with any difficulties.

Habits of a successful person

“For 5 years I have been working in a large company as a middle manager. I had to go a long way to climb the career ladder and start to earn decent money.

But lately I’ve been thinking that this position is not for me. Any task that the manager gives me takes a lot of energy. I don’t have enough time for anything. I can sit in the office until late at night, but still not fulfill at least half of what was planned. I am always late for business meetings, which, of course, does not suit business partners, and the company loses profit. I am in constant stress because I sleep little. Even at home I can’t relax, being constantly on the Internet and over the phone. During the work I have already gained 10 kg, because there is no time to eat normally – being constantly “on the run”.

It would probably be easier to quit and find something more calm. But what if the same problems remain in the new position and there will be no promotion?”

– Anatoly, 35

According to psychologists, the key to success is a harmonious ratio of the amount of energy spent on achieving the goal to the importance of the task per se. It is quite problematic to find the perfect balance, which would allow to achieve heights and enjoy life. Successful people sooner or later find this very harmony, helped by the lifestyle that they get used to.

Habits of a successful person

David Niven, the author of “The 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People”, specifies a number of daily schedule rules of a successful person. [4]

1. Early rise and morning rituals

Successful people wake up early to be in time. They consider it an impermissible luxury to spend precious minutes on a long “slow start”. It’s time to get up and get down to business!

Try to wake up so that you can plan your affairs before the start of “working madness”, when important tasks begin to accumulate like a snowball. Then you definitely have enough time for everything that was noted in the calendar.

The morning of a successful person is not viewing the news feed on the social media. There are many things ahead that require decisiveness and self-confidence. And for this, a positive attitude is extremely important, which would give a sense of control over the situation, firmness and pep. Authors of time management books suggest creating a morning ritual – an action that energizes and gives strength. For someone it’s a cup of coffee and a cool shower. Someone needs vigorous exercises. And some other person cannot do well without 10 minutes of silence to join in the active work.

2. Important work tasks – first and foremost

What do many people do when sitting down at the office? For a long time they are immersed in dozens of unread emails and light conversations with colleagues, leaving really important work for the end of the day. This is a fatal mistake.

Studies show that the first 2.5 – 4 hours after waking up is the peak period of the brainwork and the time when a person is most disciplined. An unforgivable mistake is to spend your morning on meaningless activities. It is better to devote it to important work tasks. Successful people do just like that.

3. A break in business when fatigue

A successful person knows the price of a good rest. It is useless to do any important things when tired. It is important to take a break in order to gain strength for new achievements – to have a light snack, to take a walk in the fresh air, etc. Such a “reset” will help working more productively.

4. Meetings, calls and meetings – in the afternoon

In the afternoon, productivity decreases slightly. It is better to devote this time to routine things – business calls, meetings and visits.

5. Evening – for relaxation

A successful person spends plenty of time solving business problems. But the evening for him/her is the period when one can relax and rest. With competent time management, by 6 pm all the tasks have been successfully completed; all that remains is to make a schedule for tomorrow. Constantly do not have time and have to work until late in the evening? It is worth revising the daily routine – you may have taken on the impossible tasks or are wasting precious time on trifles.

An evening of a successful person is a time that can be devoted to the family or a favorite hobby. He/she prefers outdoor activities to passive ones. A successful person takes off the accumulated stress in the gym, reading, or listening to pleasant music.

6. Full sleep

A full night sleep is the key to a productive day, which in turn gives maximum chances to achieve success. If you constantly live in a frantic rhythm sleeping for 4 – 5 hours a day, there will not be enough energy even to perform the simplest tasks.

12 rules of a successful person

“What if you feel like a failure on all fronts? I’m 27 years old – I don’t have a family, I don’t have a relationship, I don’t have my own home, my career is not well-developing. I remember when I was back in school I often felt stupid with my fairly average knowledge and understood that I was a “complete zero”. Even then, I didn’t want to study at all, because I understood that without connections I wouldn’t get through. And so it happened – with a great difficulty I found a low-paying job. Naturally, getting rich does not work – the salary is not enough for anything. Even for vacation I have to save up, to say nothing of buying real estate. And it seems, I want to develop (at least to get paid more), but I don’t know how. For several years now, I have been overcome with thoughts that I am the worst of all and no one needs me. I do not live “in full”, but just exist. I don’t know how to cope with negative thoughts about my own unfulfillment”.

– Anastasia, 27

Everyone wants to succeed in the career, society or creative field. The goals and ways to achieve them are different, but the aspirations are the same – so that dreams become reality. But if you do not learn successful behavior, then dreams can remain dreams.

So, how to succeed at work, in your career or in your favorite hobby?

rules of a successful person

1. Act

Do not put things off for later, act! This is a useful life rule, given that the constant “transfer” of the implementation of goals to a more convenient time only creates fears and self-doubt. As a result, the goal remains a pipe dream. And most often, those imaginary obstacles that stand in the way of the goal are just excuses.

Have you decided to open your own business? Want to learn programming? Dreaming of getting yourself in a better physical shape? Then gather your will and get down to business right now, forgetting about any excuses.

2. Plan and think

Immediately after setting a specific goal, start planning actions that will lead to the realization of a dream.

After completing one task, immediately think over the next step. Thus, when you start a project, you will clearly know what to do.

Consider which path is best to achieve your goal. It is important to find a solution to the problem that would not take much time and effort. The energy expended must be commensurate with the importance of the goal. It does not make sense to spend time on trifles.

3. Finish any business

It is the completed projects that are an indicator of success. Do the same way, fully completing even not the most pleasant things.

When your strength is running out, think about the fact that you have already overcome half the way. Stop for a while to take a rest and gain strength for further accomplishments. It’s worth retreating only if you understand that the goal is imposed on you from outside, that you yourself do not want to achieve it. Then it’s worth changing the goal to the one that really motivates.

4. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes

Mistakes are also experience. It’s normal that on the path to success, you encounter setbacks.

It is important to try to set yourself up that mistakes are a motivation to act more actively, to work even harder. And do not delve into the “dirty wash” of past failures. This way, you will never find the strength to move on. Let the past remain in the past, but not oppress the present. Make the right conclusions from the negative so that you do not make the same mistakes in the future.

5. Failure – a reason to start over

Sometimes it seems as if hopes and dreams are completely shattered on the rocks of reality. We have to cross out all the plans and start from the very beginning. But this is not a complete defeat! Try to look at the circumstances more positively. Starting a business the second, third and hundredth time does not mean starting from scratch. You have already accumulated enough knowledge and skills and gained important experience.

6. Ask questions

It’s important not to be afraid to ask: this is an obvious way to learn new things. Sometimes people are mistaken in thinking that a successful person should know everything. In fact, this is just the opposite: the one who knows that he/she always has something to learn will rather come to success.

Do not know how to get out of any situation as a winner? Ask for advice on how to succeed of a more knowledgeable person. You have the opportunity to gain valuable knowledge even without special training.

7. Take risks

People more often regret about what they did not do rather than about what they did. Do not forget about it and do not be afraid to take risks. So, you definitely will not miss the chance that fate helpfully gives to you to achieve success. In reasonable doses, risk is necessary.

8. Like your business, not money

Money is a great motivation to achieve success. But financial well-being should not overshadow more important things – for example, pleasure from a performed activity.

Engaging in a business you do not like, where you do not realize yourself, even if you get a good salary, is not a success. Sooner or later, you will feel bitter disappointment that you missed something important in your life.

9. Keep learning

School, university, several successfully completed courses on personality development… Do not stop here. Continuously improve while continuing to learn your favorite business. To succeed, you need to have a good understanding of many things.

Investing in education (provided that this is done not just “for show”) is the best investment. New knowledge and skills will help achieve success faster.

10. Self-motivate

It is pointless to wait for some kind of push from the outside, which will give strength to act decisively. A successful person knows how to motivate himself/herself.

On the way to achieving the goal, keep in mind the idea that all the difficulties that have to be overcome make you closer to your dream. This is the best motivation. Think about the benefits that you will receive when achieving the task. What exactly it will be – money, a successful marriage, public recognition – depends on the particular goal.

Do not forget to enjoy the intermediate success. This is also a great motivation, which gives strength to further accomplishments.

11. Forget the fear of responsibility

A successful person, even embarking on a complex project, is not afraid to take responsibility. Do not give in to your own fears, shifting important matters to other people. As a rule, this is connected precisely with the fear of being personally responsible for the possible consequences of the mistakes made.

It is important to take the initiative. This is the best way to deal with self-doubt and embarrassment.

12. Focus on the essentials

Do not spread yourself on the path to achieving the goal and try to learn / do everything at once. Yes, you should be well-versed in many matters. But it is impossible to become a high-class specialist in all areas of life – there just will not be enough time for training.

Concentrate on the main thing – on the matter in which you want to pump your skills to the maximum and achieve success.

What prevents a person from being successful? As a rule, this is not an evil combination of circumstances and not a plot of others. The main rival on the path to success is yourself. Learn to negotiate with yourself – with your own fears, laziness, procrastination. This will help set ambitious goals and systematically go towards a dream.

A person is made up by his/her habits, the so-called behavior model. And if you constantly go on about your own complexes, you will not achieve success. Change your life for the better to become successful. Start not with fashionable seminars on personality development, but with a consultation of a psychologist. It is important to understand exactly which habits and traits of character “inhibit” you, preventing from achieving success in life.

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In the development of “successful” thinking, the 7Spsy behavior modification technique is rather helpful. This is a certified technique based on the theories of Pavlov, Skinner, Ukhtomsky and others. The course helps change the pathological model of behavior that interferes with the achievement of goals. You have the opportunity to look at your own fears, possible mistakes and failures from a new angle. Panic and a desire to fail facing difficulties will cease to be your constant companions. Self-confidence will come in their place. Being engaged in the training program, you will replace negative attitudes with positive ones, get valuable tips on how to become a successful person, and learn new habits. This will make it possible to understand that envy of the achievements of others is not the best motivation, and any difficulties can be overcome only by harnessing your will and taking action.

The course of behavior modification, depending on the specific case, is designed for 2-6 weeks. Classes are held in privacy mode. The fact that you are undergoing training with a psychologist is not necessary to be known for colleagues. This is your own business, which will bear fruit in the future. The psychologist is working with you remotely – supporting by the phone and e-mail, or online.

The development of successful thinking is the first step towards becoming more self-confident, decisive and strong-willed. Achieving great goals begins with self-working.


  1. «Stupeni soznaniia, ili Put k Uspekhu», 2018 g., S. Khokhel.
  2. «Zolotye pravila uspeshnykh liudei», 2017 g., D. Pinkott.
  3. «Pravila zhizni: Kak dobitsia uspekha i stat schastlivym», 2010 g., R. Templar.
  4. «Sto prostykh sekretov uspeshnykh liudei», 2015 g., D. Niven.